"People fighting without speaking..."

The following is a rough transcription of a 10 to 15 minute argument I had with a customer at my job the other morning. No, I didn't jot these notes down after the fight - they indeed are the fight. See, this customer was deaf, so following my usual protocol in these scenarios, I used a nearby scrap of paper and pen to communicate and complete the transaction (little did I know what I was getting myself into this time).



As you can see, the woman orders a breakfast sandwich on an everything bagel, but made with only two eggs instead of the three we normally use. Now, as an experienced veteran of this particular restaurant, I'm painfully aware of which requests the head chef will accommodate or shoot down (spewing fire and brimstone at the poor server who dares to waste precious seconds of her life with such stupid and pointless inquiries). Unfortunately for my morning, this request falls under the latter. I try to reason with the customer, writing that although it must be three eggs total, the sandwich is cut in half, so she could share with her friend, save some for later, not eat the whole thing, and so on. All my counterpoints are repeatedly met with an angry grunt and finger thrust down on her originally written order. Several minutes have passed at this point and I'm getting nervous, as I simply can not afford to spend large chunks of time dealing with any one customer (I'm the only employee up front for the majority of the morning, leaving me solely responsible for all ordering/running/busing/barista duties, and so on). Desperate, I resort to putting my foot down (using that "must" you see up there), but still trying to keep things as light as possible by saying that "she'll love it!". I'll let you decipher and dissect the rest of the argument, but just know that in the end, I was victorious. Despite the customer being hell-bent on getting her "2 w/cheese and bacon", I finally got her to order the breakfast sandwich the way it's normally prepared, and in the end, she stayed for a while and seemed to leave happy. Only left over a couple bites, too.

P.S. Please be aware that my job is to enforce the rules set by the head chef/owners. I have nothing to do with making them, and truly did everything in my power to make this customer happy without sacrificing my own neck. Sadly, these moral dilemmas where employees find themselves torn between good/evil and right/wrong aren't exactly rare.