Guest article: "Culinary Disappointments" by Julia Smith

Julia Smith here, guest blogger currently living in the “foodie” paradise of New Orleans. Well, it’s a culinary paradise for most, anyway: fresh gulf seafood (as long as the oil is kept at bay), andouille sausage, crawfish etouffeé, shrimp and catfish po’ boys, alligator on a stick… whatever combination of spices and sea creatures you can imagine, it’s been concocted in Cajun/Creole cooking. Tourists come to this city for the cuisine and I spend all my time attempting to avoid it: I’m a vegetarian (meaning I eat no animals of any kind) and I think I picked the worst place to live while maintaining this lifestyle. Nevertheless, I’m sticking to my guns… which means I mostly cook at home and (yes, I’ll admit it) eat a lot of Taco Bell. But I enjoy eating out as much as the next person and I love trying new restaurants. However, sometimes my attempt to expand my restaurant rolodex backfires and results in a day filled with culinary disappointments—a day like today.

It all started when I arranged to have lunch with friends at a local Indian restaurant, Nirvana. I fasted all morning in preparation for a delicious Indian buffet with plenty of vegetarian options and endless naan. And really, when you’re that hungry, what’s better than an Indian buffet? Anyway, we all arrived at the restaurant only to discover they’re closed on Mondays (I really must remember to check hours online before I make plans… also, why is everything in NOLA closed on Mondays?). We ended up driving down the street to the Magazine St. Po’ Boy and Sandwich Shop where I indulged in a grilled cheese po’ boy with fries and a Coke float. It was not worth the $12+ I paid for it… could have made the grilled cheese at home; the fries were bland; Coke float was in a Styrofoam cup. Lame.

By evening, I still hadn’t shaken off my indignation at overpaying for mediocre-at-best food. I figured the perfect remedy would be to make my own delectable delight at home. I decided to try a recipe from the famous Julie/Julia Project blog (posted by Julie, saying it was her mom’s recipe) that I had been eyeing for some time—cheese biscuits.

The recipe calls for a cup of butter—that’s two sticks, for all you non-bakers… and it’s a lot of butter. That’s usually a good thing in a recipe. Another great part of the recipe is the 8 oz. of cheese. It also calls for two cups of rice krispies. Weird, but I decided not to question it and just go with the recipe. The only other stand-out ingredient is the cayenne pepper, but I love spice so I thought nothing of it before I made the biscuits. Read the recipe. They sound scrumptious, don’t they?


They are not. In fact, they tasted so strange I hardly wanted more than a few bites. And it’s really too bad because the recipe makes about two dozen biscuits.

First, they did not rise or get fluffy. They remained flat, like cookies. That’s fine, except don’t call it a biscuit if isn’t one… this is not England. When I bit into one at first, it tasted good: buttery, soft, flaky. But then the rice krispies hit you and they do not make the texture more interesting; they make you wonder why the hell you thought it was a good idea to put breakfast cereal in bread dough. The worst part was probably the cayenne pepper. It comes as a very strong and unwelcome aftertaste and this is coming from someone who eats the spiciest of curries. This may be the first recipe I’ve made that I truly disliked. And now I have 24 crunchy, spicy biscuits and no one in my household will eat them… we can’t even feed them to the dog because of the cayenne. My solution? I’ll bring them to work tomorrow and leave them in the lunch room… abandon all hope, ye who decide to try one of my biscuits.


I was so let down by the nasty biscuits and so distraught over the loss of two sticks of butter and 8 oz. of cheese that I made chocolate chip cookies out of cake mix afterwards, a fail-safe recipe. But I’ll save that one for another day of lost culinary experiences in the life of a vegetarian in New Orleans.

- Julia Smith

Top Chef DC - Episode 1: What's Your Constituency?

At last, a brand new season of Top Chef has arrived to keep television lively this summer (perfect timing too, as my beloved Real World/Road Rules Challenge - which also airs on Wednesday nights - just wrapped up). Top Chef Masters was fun enough for the time being (eh, better than no Top Chef at all, I suppose), but it doesn't have anything on the regular series, and if this first episode is any indication, then we're in for quite the season...

Initial thoughts: There are so many chefs at the starting point, it's difficult to pick out who has the skills, who doesn't, who I like, don't like, and so on. If I had to say, though, the obvious picks would be Kenny and Angelo. I like both of them, and each definitely seems to have the abilities to go far in the game. Especially Kenny, what with his domination of that mise-en-place quickfire (well, except for taking the actual win, but you know what I mean). Being the first to finish each segment on the very first challenge was a great way to strike fear into the hearts of the other chefs, really let them know who they're fucking with in this competition - he's like that dude you always hated in college who finished his bluebook essay exam before you got through writing your name. How sweet would it have been if he actually won??? Props to Angelo, though - winning that and the elimination challenge definitely makes him stand out to not only the judges, but the other chefs, as well. I don't get this buzz I'm hearing about his ego - he seems confident, sure, but not arrogant in any asshole-kind of way (unlike Mike Isabella, from last season). Who knows, though - too early in the competition to really know the deal.

I had a feeling John was gonna be the one going home pretty early into the episode, don't ask me why. Maybe because he chose to do a dessert, or maybe just because the dude was too much of a freak to be around for long (nice enough guy, but come on - he was a martian). This feeling was cemented when it was revealed that he used store-bought pastry dough, rather than making it himself. It's Top Chef SEVEN dude, what are you thinking? Have you ever seen the show before? There's no real excuse for that, and he should have known how frowned upon that decision would be.

Some the other chefs: Pulling for Alex a little bit - not just because he's Russian (represent), but he seems to really know what he's doing, at least judging from this episode (skillfully deconstructing the borsch, and so on). Thought Tracey's remark about Stephen being from Cleveland (and therefore, not knowing how to cook) was pretty nasty and out of line. It's like, as long as we're being judgmental, how about you lose 100 pounds? Maybe if she wins Top Chef, she can put the $125,000 towards a treadmill. I'd like to give her the benefit of the doubt on that one (with editing and everything, who knows the context of how it really came out), but still - it came off as pretty rude and unnecessary, making it extra hilarious when Tom said that her shrimp were "as bland as can be". Rooting for Lynne, as well - mostly because of what she said about being a great chef, despite not having any crazy tattoos/hair, and so on (that caricature of the hip, deeply-disturbed-yet-skilled "chef" can be retired anytime - the fact that people don't care what cliches they are by doing that shit astounds me). Oh, and I think I speak for everyone when saying that it's great to have Eric Ripert judging the proceedings this time around, as opposed to Toby Young, whose contrived quips will undoubtedly be remembered as one of the low points in the series.

I thought the elimination challenge itself was pretty good, too (make a dish that represents where you're from, and so on), and it got me thinking about what I would do if I were in the chefs' shoes (of course, pretending that I had a shred of their culinary abilities). Um, something with corn?

Welcome to Live and Let Dine!

Welcome, everyone! I'm quite pleased to finally be posting the initial entry for Live and Let Dine - a food-centric blog which will detail a variety of topics in the culinary world, ranging from my own personal cooking misadventures to different restaurants I come across (not to mention thoughts on the current season of Top Chef - June 16th, baby!). My overall hope is that the nature and diversity of these posts will be entertaining to readers who see food as more than mere sustenance, as well as therapeutic for those currently entrenched the culinary lifestyle.

Alongside film and music, food is one my greatest passions and, having worked almost exclusively in the restaurant industry for the past ten years (both in front and back of house), I have amassed a great deal of not only food-related experience, but anecdotes, as well. The colorful scenarios and characters (whether the chefs themselves, co-workers, or strange and unruly customers) I've encountered in this business provide no shortage of amusing stories, the best of which I plan to share with you readers. Fear not - I don't plan on using this blog solely as a means to complain about my job (I currently work full time at a local, independent, chef-run restaurant - one of the busiest in town). Don't get me wrong - I'm sure it will provide me with an excuse to vent here and there, but the primary goal remains the same, regardless of the entry's content and tone: To provide foodies (eh, if you care for that label - I guess it applies here) with something they'll get a kick out of and fellow restaurant workhorses with something fun they can relate to. Enjoy!